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While the common dating ‘rules’ – not that I believe in rules – can apply to anybody, there are perhaps a few things we, as gay guys, need to pay a little more attention to.

Cast your net further afield We can be a very picky bunch.

Ironically, even though white gay men respond to messages in general less frequently than gay men of color they fail to attract the highest rate of responses to the messages they send.

Middle Eastern gay men, on average, will receive about 48 responses for every 100 messages they send, while white gay men will receive an average of 45. Response rates vary by race less among lesbian women on Ok Cupid than gay men.

I want to live in a pluralistic world, where whiteness holds the same value as all other amalgams of race, ethnicity, and culture.

Most queer whites know the pain of social marginalization, yet they marginalize queer people of color in online dating communities.

White gay men also respond less frequently to messages in general than gay men of color.

On Ok Cupid white gay men respond to messages from all races at an average rate of 41.4%, but gay men of color respond to messages from all races at an average rate of 49.3%.

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